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His phone buzzed. A text from his sister: “First allergies of the season! My eyes feel like they’re full of sand. gottaluvapril”

The story: a rogue shopping cart, a patch of black ice that had no business existing in April, and a physics-defying face-plant into a concrete wheel stop. He’d been trying to rescue a lady’s runaway cantaloupe. The cantaloupe, naturally, was fine. gottaluvapril

It wasn’t even ripe.

“You okay there, champ?” called a kid from a passing pickup truck. His phone buzzed