“It used to be that you were either healthy or sick,” says Dr. Kessley Jamison, a clinical psychologist specializing in eating disorders. “Now, you are ‘optimal’ or ‘negligent.’ Wellness brands started selling the idea that if you aren’t bio-hacking, cold-plunging, and eating grass-fed liver, you are failing at existence.”
How do you hold space for radical body acceptance while also acknowledging that a diet of hyper-processed foods makes your joints ache and your brain foggy?
“I used to cry in the parking lot before spin class,” recalls Darnell, 41, a teacher in Atlanta. “I was the biggest person there. I thought everyone was judging me. But then I found a queer, body-inclusive strongman gym. We lift atlas stones. We flip tires. No one talks about calories. We talk about ‘heavy shit makes me feel powerful.’” miss teen nudist year junior miss pageant
For someone in a larger body, this creates a double-bind. If you step into a yoga class, the wellness gaze sees a problem to be fixed. If you stay on the couch, the medical gaze sees a statistic waiting to happen.
It requires rejecting the fundamental premise of the wellness industry: that you are a broken project in need of renovation. “It used to be that you were either
Maya’s dilemma is the fault line running through modern self-care. On one side stands —the radical acceptance that all bodies are good bodies, regardless of shape, size, or ability. On the other stands Wellness —the multi-trillion-dollar industry promising optimization, longevity, and the pursuit of a "better" you.
“We laugh so hard we swallow pool water,” she says. “That’s my wellness. That’s my body positivity. It’s not a balance beam. It’s a messy, sweaty, joyful pool party.” “I used to cry in the parking lot
Studies from the Journal of Eating Disorders suggest that when people engage in wellness behaviors (like tracking macros or wearing a fitness watch) with a body-positive mindset, they see improved mood and sustainable habits. But when they engage with a weight-loss mindset, they see increased anxiety, bingeing, and eventual dropout.