Every compelling character enters a romance carrying a splinter. Maybe they were abandoned as a child. Maybe they were betrayed by a previous lover. Maybe they are so terrified of failure that they refuse to let anyone see them try. The romance doesn't work until these two people accidentally poke each other's wounds—and then proceed to help heal them.
Before you can let someone in, you have to know what you’re protecting. If your wound is "I am terrified of being abandoned," you will either cling too tight or push people away first. Acknowledge it. My.Sexy.Kittens.Curvy.Country.Girls.2019.720p.x...
Real love is deciding to do the dishes even though you worked a 12-hour shift. Real love is saying "I'm sorry" for the hundredth time about the same issue. Real love is sitting in silence on the couch because you both have the flu and there is nothing romantic about it at all. Every compelling character enters a romance carrying a
So go ahead, watch the period drama. Cry at the wedding scene. Swoon over the kiss in the rain. Just remember to look up from the screen, look at the person beside you (or the empty space where they will one day be), and ask yourself: What kind of story am I actually living? Maybe they are so terrified of failure that
In movies, the grand gesture works (running through an airport, holding up a boombox). In reality, grand gestures are often a sign of poor communication. You don’t need a boombox; you need a therapist and a shared calendar.
When we consume hundreds of hours of perfectly paced romance, our brains start to rewire what we expect from a partner. We begin to look for the "meet-cute" in the grocery store. We expect our partner to deliver a perfectly worded, tear-jerking monologue during a fight. We think love should be hard in the way that it is hard for Elizabeth and Darcy—full of witty banter and longing glances across a ballroom.
But real love is rarely hard in a poetic way. Real love is hard in a boring way.