I recently bought a piece of furniture called the
Suddenly,
This is the moment of truth. You press down on the surface. If the table wobbles, you don't just tighten a screw. You have to go on television (or Instagram Live) and explain to your followers: nixon coffee table assembly instructions
Every time I put my coffee mug down, I wonder if the surface is bugged. Every time my dog bumps into it, I flinch, waiting for the "third-rate burglary" of the whole thing collapsing. I recently bought a piece of furniture called
If the peg doesn't go in, the manual suggests you launch a "secret bombing campaign" of your living room floor with a rubber mallet. Hit it until it denies everything. This is the most frustrating part of the build. You have to go on television (or Instagram
Is it sturdy? No. Is it ethical? Probably not. Does it have a dark, polished finish that hides the stains of red sauce from last night's pizza? Absolutely.