Leo, known to his 2.3 million followers as "CryptoBro_Leo," adjusted the ring light. His penthouse overlooked a smoggy Los Angeles, but his viewers wouldn't see that. They’d see the Lambo poster, the diamond-handed ape NFT, and his sister, Bess, pretending to be annoyed.

Bess dropped her deadpan. She became the character: Bess, the crypto-catfisher . She leaned over the back of the leather couch, letting the low-cut “SisLovesMe” merch do its job.

Leo’s real eyes went wide. “Wait, that wasn’t in the script.”

The holographic ticker above the bed read:

The show was called The Rug Pull . Every episode, Bess played the savvy, eye-rolling sister who accidentally discovered Leo’s secret “hard fork” (the show’s euphemism for his absurd crypto wallet). Last week, she found his ledger under the couch. This week, the premise was: she was a Fed agent trying to seize his “ill-gotten gains,” but she kept getting distracted by his “proof-of-stake.”

For the first time, CryptoBro_Leo had nothing to say. The entertainment was over. The liquidation had just begun.