We’re not done. Tara went back to Portland. I’m still here, learning to ask better questions than "How was your day?" Yesterday, I asked, "What color do you feel like today?" He thought about it for a long time and said, "Grey. But with a little bit of orange."
And he cried. For the first time in my living memory, my dad cried. Not a movie cry—an ugly, snotty, relieved cry. He cried for the boy who never got a paintbrush. He cried for the 30 years of commutes. He cried because Tara finally gave him permission to be tired. tara and dad unmasked
I laughed out of reflex. "You? You hate mess." We’re not done
I’m wearing a Dora the Explorer backpack that’s too big for my shoulders. Dad is wearing his "Weekend Warrior" sunglasses and a strained smile. We’re at a county fair. He’s holding a giant stuffed tiger he just won by cheating at a ring toss. In the photo, I look ecstatic. He looks… present. But with a little bit of orange
Not a contractor. A painter. As in, canvases and watercolors and Parisian garrets.
For the first time, he owned his own talent without deflecting.