The next morning: Lisa’s car has four flat tires. No punctures. Just… flat. On her windshield, a single playing card: the Ace of Spades. Mark calls the police. Officer replies, “John Persons? Yeah, we don’t go there. Read the neighborhood charter, sir.”
Saturday morning. Mark wakes up. His lawn is gone. Not dead—gone. In its place: dark, wet soil. And written in the dirt in six-foot letters: “NO.” The Neighbors John Persons Comics
“They moved in on a Tuesday. That was the first mistake.” The next morning: Lisa’s car has four flat tires
Mark finds the charter online. Rule 47: “Neighbors shall not engage John Persons in conversation regarding weather, sports, or casseroles.” Rule 48: “Neighbors shall leave one (1) unopened can of sweet corn on their front porch every Friday evening.” Rule 49: “Neighbors who break Rules 47–48 will be ‘neighborly visited.’” On her windshield, a single playing card: the Ace of Spades
“The old neighbors knew the rules. Wave, but don’t talk. Mow on Sunday, not Saturday. Never, ever look in the basement windows after 9 p.m.”