— Tom (First-Paw Account, dictated but not read)

Here’s the informative part that the cartoon physics obscures: In the original short, I am the one trying to be good. My letter to Santa isn’t a list of toys. It’s a truce. I ask for peace on Earth and a single, non-explosive mouse trap. Jerry, however, misinterprets my kindness as weakness. He spends the first half of the short using every household object—a mousetrap, a firecracker, a rolling pin—to ensure I don’t get my wish.

If you’ve ever watched the holiday classic Tom and Jerry: Santa’s Little Helpers —which is usually a compilation of our finest winter disasters, most notably the 1952 theatrical short The Night Before Christmas —you’ve seen the fur fly. But you haven’t seen the whole story. So, grab a saucer of milk, and let me walk you through the mechanics of our yuletide mayhem.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear a rustling in the walls. And I have a brand new anvil with a red bow on it.